Self-Tanners: How the Hell do I apply them?

It's that time of year again. Don't scream ladies and gentlemen, it's only the warm summer months. Most of the general public would agree that they are happy for the warmth and sun, but some of us are very perturbed by this natural happening. For ladies, it means sundresses, sandals, painted toe nails, and (yikes) shaving or even worse waxing. For gentlemen, well it just means a lot more sweat and more waiting for their ladies to get ready.
For many men and women it means self- tanners. Ok, so don't lie,.. I know you are all not self-tanning. I know you are in the natural sunlight hoping for that golden tan. If you are in the sunlight, then don't make me beg... wear SUNSCREEN!!!! You will always get a tan with sunscreen, regardless of the sun protection factor. The benefits of sunscreen go far beyond just screening you from harmful UVA/UVB rays. Try thinking of sunscreen as your first step to guarding against wrinkles and keeping your collagen and elastin in place. It will keep you from Botox for a little while longer.
Aside from keeping your skin "safe" it can help in some cases against UVC rays, which are the harmful cancer causing rays. Although, no sunscreen producer can claim to guard against these rays yet. Nothing can block the UVA/UVB/UVC rays entirely, but they can help. Just think about the next time at the Dermatologist office when your Doctor tells you, "You have nothing to remove." How great would that be? No skin cancer scares and no nasty scars from removing rogue skin cells.
Now that I've given another lecture about sunscreen, let me direct you in the way of self-tanners. Self-tanners, like so many products, come in a variety of gels, lotions, liquids, towels, and sprays. Your first step should always be exfoliation of the body and face. A smooth surface is extremely important to make that "fake" tan look real. Unless, you want streaks and dry patches that are the color of a traffic cone, I'd make sure that step was done.
Second; you must choose your formula. Now, if you go back to some of my other blogs, I speak of skin types and how to distinguish between them. Please review the previous beauty blogs or go to your local library to look up books about skin and how to treat it. Choosing a proper formulation will make your tan look real and feel good on the skin. Some of the favorite and most liked formulations are made by Clarins, Nutrogena, Sevenine (yes it is the the former Lindsey Lohan line), St. Tropez, Tan Towels, and Kate Somerville. All of these companies make products that are absolutely praised. I've personally used all of them. Out of them all I do really prefer the towel formulations like Tan Towels, Nutrogena, and Kate Somerville. Towels are very easy to apply and usually give an even tone.
I'm sure you are wondering when I'm going to reveal how I would suggest putting them on. Right? Ok, here it is. Besides exfoliation and formula, you are going to need to realize the meticulous care it will take to get all body parts covered. Please use circular motions, so all of the skin surface is most dutifully touched. Circular motions will allow little room for streaks and missing sections.
I do also suggest placing body lotion or cream on the body before application. The lotion allows for the self-tanning formula to absorb into the skin evenly. It also counteracts some of the orange that may occur on rough textured skin. There are some arguments by several beauty professionals about the lotion before the self-tanner. I've found the lotion works wonders when added before. So try it both ways, to satisfy the curiosity of before or after.
Lastly, please let the self-tanning formulation dry into the skin. No matter how many commercials tell you that you can apply and run, it's like fast drying nail polish... they lie. The skin can only allow so much absorption at a time. Give the formula at least an hour before putting on that beautiful white dress. I've had so many clothes ruined by assuming the formula had dried. Also, if the formulation is very fast drying, look out for many alcohols in the formulation, it may dry the skin.
I hope my wisdom has been passed on. Take it and run Children! Be tan and prosper! Oh and wear your SUNSCREEN!